Half-Cast Bastards

[Hocho Militus (Tom)]

Song for Paladins of Moradin in training. Try to imagine an elf singing it without peeing in his dress.

Sung to the tune of “In the Name of Love”.

Arms like thunder, fists that sunder,
Who are they it makes you wonder.
Leaving their halls, blessed with big balls,
They’ll sleep in barns and in your sheep stalls.
To the big world, banners unfurled,
Moradin’s half-cast outside are hurled.
Lead the way lads, get some knee pads,
Spread the seed until you’re all dads.

Half-cast bastards, serve your master,
Make little dwarves and make them faster.
Half-cast bastards, ahead of the mob,
Cuddling girls is such a tough job.

Tig ol’ bitties, Big ol’ cities,
Wish they didn’t smell so shitty.
Forests and plains, are for no-brains,
Head for a bed that ain’t got no stains.
Do your duty, grunt a cutey,
Pick one out with a big booty.
One day we’ll rest, marry the best,
Still alive you’ve passed the real test.

Half-cast bastards, serve your master,
Make little dwarves and make them faster.
Half-cast bastards, ahead of the mob,
Cuddling girls is such a tough job.

Just kidding about the tune. Make up your own tune, you filthy animals.

[Zorander]

I gave up on the tune by the third line. Fun stuff just the same!

[Tippy Smallfoot (Greg)]

Horny Dwarf wannabe. Out there making little Dwarves and wonder’n while they all grow up big and strong looking like humans.

[Author]

Posts